i couldn't go to sleep even though i know that i have to cause i have to go to school later this morning. god, i swear, i want to go to sleep but jaja told me a that there's a ghost or something like that roaming around the house. not that i actually believe in it but i really do have a wonderful and crazy imagination. that explains it.

and because i'm awake and all, contemplating is good idea. or a bad one. i'm really confused right now, believe me.

i'm struggling right now. i know that my problems are not as terribly difficult compared to the rest of the world population. i think these are the struggles of growing up. or growing old, to make it right.

i don't think i'd like to draw for the rest of my life. i don't want to be a struggling artist. i'm very grateful for this god-given talent but my passion for art is very low. whenever i think that i'm going to graduate soon and get a job, i feel very insecure.
maybe i'm not really confident with the things that i do. maybe i'm just fooling myself that i'm satisfied with what i know and have right now. i feel so emo. ORZ.

being a leader in adprac kills my brain. my face was really priceless when i found out that there was no one to rely on. sorry guys, but honestly i felt very negative about that. despite such thoughts, i will still do my best and do my hardest to make our group pass adprac. there's no way i will take summer classes. i'm going to have OJT this summer no matter what! i will not fail this friggin mission. i'm a turk. ayt.

and yes i will prove to you that i will be able to do a packaging design for a set of a dinner plate, saucer and tea cup.

and i really want to learn japanese badly. i know a few stuff, but i need to get to the point that i can actually understand tough kanji. yes, i hate those effin strokes, but i will really hate the world if i have to study chinese.
i really wanted to become a polyglot. i think that's really cool.
and after college, i really want to study again.
i want to travel the world just like what my papa did. maybe it's in my veins! haha i speak nonsense. i should really go to sleep.

what if i wasn't really for the arts? i'm not really confident with my language skills but what if...
man, i'm confused.

oh dear people, please pray for me that i will pass adprac! >_<